Having children was like a ‘tick the box’ agenda for me. You know, something you should do once you get  married . I was so sure of my life plan that I knew I needed to be ‘done’ with having kids by 30. This would enable me to kick start my career and give me enough time to work out, look good enough to be confused as their ‘older sister’ when they get to their teens..HAHA

I didn’t really understand the weight that came with this miracle of child bearing. It is not as obvious as it may appear to be. Those who have gone through the struggle of trying to have a child understand the pain that comes with this. I wouldn’t know exactly what they feel, but being in a situation where I almost lost  my first  daughter  at birth, I can highly relate.

When we conceived our second daughter, I was overly protective, more cautious and prayed even more for a smooth delivery. I panicked at every kick and how vigorously she seemed to play in my tummy.  The journey to parenthood was  nothing I anticipated, It completely turned my life around( not to scare anyone ) but the high’s are super high and the lows are just lessons you gain and move right along:)

Having two amazing girls who have complete split personalities and physically different, has taught me some amazing lessons on life.

1. Quality Time

No amount of presents will compensate for your busy work schedule, this I must admit I picked from my folks who seamlessly managed to raise the 6 of us uniquely . We are all so different but they managed to pick what we valued, our individual talents and ensured to nature each one of us to our greatest potential. Therefore in as much as it may be easier to cluster them and do some activities together, I try to create play time for each of them , even if its 10 minutes just to focus on what they individually enjoy.

2. Happy folks, happy kids

By this I mean our mental health. Life takes us through different seasons, some tougher than others .  We must  therefore  be alert enough to know when our stress  levels go up. You do not want to transfer the pressure you have onto your kids. Take time out to rejuvenate , go for a walk, set aside some time with your girlfriends or do nothing at all if that’s what makes you happy and enjoy life’s little  pleasures . Point,  do not forget who you were before the kids.

3. Let go of self limiting behaviors and pursue your curiosity

My biggest setback by far has been the fear monster. Just the other day I realized how much credit I denied myself just because I formed a habit of focusing on what I don’t have, what I have not achieved, Yo! the pressure that came with turning 30 was unreal. But through my daughters, in their own little way, they have convinced me that the best gift I can give myself is to be legitimately me, kind of like be a kid and just go with the flow.

Beginning of the year,I made a resolution to read more, watch less reality shows( don’t even start with your judging) . My  first book this year happened to be ‘ The Monk who sold his Ferrari’. Truly that was my turning point. I shifted my thoughts to focus on what I know, grow what I don’t know and to try out something new( hence the blogging:) )

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain –

 4. Each day is a new beginning

I love when  my youngest daughter, Wema throws a mini tantrum at me, and barely a minute passes, I ask for a kiss, I  get one and a hug to top it up. My older daughter, Naima, you upset her in any way, she makes the cutest sad face but trades that for the biggest smile when you toss her up(one of her favourite games).

That’s the attitude I hope to adopt, at least for the most part of my life. Forgive myself quick enough and not dwell on my mistakes . Make  the most of each new day and opportunity.

5.Be grateful

God knows the joy these kids bring me. I am so grateful that I have them in my life, that I got the golden opportunity to carry them in my womb. I may have whined and complained more than I should have, I know now more than ever before to pray harder for those dear ones who desire to carry life in their wombs, those who have but lost them, those who experienced birthing trauma and have no idea what life hold’s. I am grateful for now, this moment that I am a guardian to them on earth, and hope to be for eons  to come. It is not a right of passage, It is an honour.

Summer dress two year old

SonnieKay!

Photo Credits: Brian of Emoji Pikchaz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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26 Comments

  1. Sonnie. This is inspiring…you are inspiring. Being on the third floor myself,i know how much self imposed pressure and limits can wear one down. So,i threw out the list with so many unchecked boxes,and life is more enjoyable now. Thank you for opening your life experiences to us. xo

    • sonniekay Reply

      Glad you tossed out that list!Too much pressure.Keep living and loving!

  2. Beautifully written! Lessons I can apply in regards to this new journey I’m about to start.
    My new mantra: ‘Let go of self limiting behaviors and persue your curiosity’.
    Can’t wait to read more!!

    • sonniekay Reply

      How excited am I for you, us! hahha! So happy for you as you begin your journey.Keep reading!

  3. Harriet Maluku Reply

    Good read!! Being a mother beats any other achievement in life… Indeed, it is an honour my girl- not a life passage. Wah! This was truly deep and made me to reflect.

    Love you!

    • sonniekay Reply

      You know! It’s such an eye opener. Love you and thanks for reading

  4. Some powerful writing and message right there! Looking forward to more of your posts!!

    • sonniekay Reply

      Sissy! we finally did it! thanks much for the support:))

  5. Great job Sonnie, this is just amazing. You inspire so many of us.

    • sonniekay Reply

      Twidley, so nice to meet you here:) thank you for the read and support

  6. Beautiful beautiful beautiful and very inspiring… Touching too! Keep it up Sonniekay!

  7. So inspiring, waiting for more Sonny. Congratulations for the big move dear.

    • sonniekay Reply

      Thanks Mercy, glad you enjoyed the read. More on the way!

  8. Sonnie, this is such an encouragement! Keep it up! And I love the photos😀

  9. Aki for real the pressure that comes with reaching 3rd floor ..you’re an inspiration and I love your strength…nice read…this blog thing is really for you😘…looking forward to reading more

    • sonniekay Reply

      Thanks much for stopping by Mrs Bruce:)
      Please don’t let the pressure get to you.

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